Happy Two Dozen

Maybe it's the nature of my job. Maybe it's me. I tend to be less and less proactive lately. Be it staying in touch with friends or finding a topic to kick start a proper, constructive conversation with people around me.

Somehow, I just want to be silent. I hope to stay unnoticed. 

I still care for everyone around me. And it's not as if I want to withdraw from my social circle. 

It's just... the need to be alone. 

Sometimes I find great difficulty in communicating with friends and family. 

Sometimes I want to maximise work efficiency and minimise the amount of time spent. Sometimes I just don't feel good, for unknown reasons. 

Sometimes I just want to get in touch with my inner self.

Sometimes I'm just tired. 

Maybe that's why oftentimes I prefer to shut myself from the rest of the world. 

And I get mistaken for being anti-social or not keen enough to maintain relationships because I don't treasure them enough.  

Maybe I just don't know how to express myself well enough. Don't know how to tell those around me how much I love them. 

Or simply, I don't understand myself well enough to bring out the socially expected and right reactions. 

Whatever. I'm tired. Really.

Ironically, it's my special day and yet, yes. I say, I'm tired. 

I know it sounds totally wrong to say this today. 

But oh well... Whatever it is, I'm not giving up.

Oh yes, and thanks to those who remembered and sent their well wishes through smses, phone calls, wall-to-wall and of course, face to face.